Becoming an optimist?

I've always considered myself a pessimist, but recently it hasn't been the case.  Worry used to always fill my brain with what tomorrow would bring or i'd be lingering on the past, not being able to move forward.  Now everything seems different.  I feel like i'm going with the flow and enjoying the excitement of not knowing what will happen tomorrow and I tell you what... IT FEELS GREAT!!

Not too long ago I agreed to myself that I was going to attempt to lose weight.  I have tried this many times before in the past, but always failed.  This time I am determined to become healthier and happier.  So far I've managed to lose 11 lbs from cutting out a lot of the rubbish I used to eat.  This was the hardest thing I had to do because I would use food to comfort myself... My weakness was chocolate, but since cutting it out I've learnt I really don't need it.

As well as cutting down on the rubbish I ate, I've also been going for walks along the beach and through the woods and I have put this to my advantage because I love taking photos of the beautiful scenery.  I've been taking photos throughout my walks and this has really helped motivate myself.  That and the fact of seeing the numbers on the scales go down!  It feels amazing and it has definitely made me feel happier.  I feel how I want to feel.  I know I still have a long way to go and make sure I keep to this regime, but considering it's making me feel good... It shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Being happier has made me become a lot more sociable.  I've always been one of those people who will avoid going out and will stay indoors all day watching films and playing games, but on new years I made a promise to myself that I was going to get out more (I know this doesn't help being healthy) but I have kept to that promise and I have met some pretty awesome people in the process!  As well as seeing old friends... for example, my lovely friend Erin.  We usually waited around 3 months until we saw each other next, but recently we have been spending a lot more time together and it's been fantastic! Thank you Erin for being such a great friend!

Anyway, I feel like i'm being too positive now!  Haha!  All that's left for me to say is that I'm not a quitter.  I never have been and I never will be.  I believe everything happens for a reason.  Fight for that reason!

You never know what the future holds ♥

Yes! I have gone Ape! (with panic)

I never thought I had a fear of heights.  My god was I wrong!  Two years ago I went to GoApe for the first time with my sister, Becky.  For those of you who don't know what GoApe is, it is a tree top challenge where you basically act like monkeys.  It was such a great experience and I loved every minute of it... oh, except for when I had a panic attack!

Part of the course involved a Tarzan swing into a rope wall.  There was an alternative route which was easier, but I thought to myself, 'take the challenge, it will be fun!'.  Butterflies were forming in my stomach, but before I could even think it through, it was my turn.  I attached myself to the rope, bent my knees and let myself go.  The thrill I got out of this drop and swing was amazing, but what I hadn't thought about was getting myself up the rope wall, bearing in mind I have terrible upper body strength.

Flying into this rope, I grabbed hold tight and started to pull myself up.  This proved to be hard and I was struggling to get up to the next platform... then it came!  PANIC!  I thought I was trapped and never be able to get up, but a group of people behind saw I was in a panic state and encouraged me.  'You can do it!', they chanted as I managed to move and pull myself up.

Getting onto the platform I realised I had completely turned to jelly.  My legs felt weak and I felt drained, but I was happy that I was no longer stuck in this net!  Luckily this was near the end of my adventure at GoApe.  One more zip wire (which was huge) to go.  The views when flying down this wire was incredible!  Highlight of the day.

Okay... so yesterday my sister took me to GoApe for the second time.  I swore to myself that I would not experience another panic attack.  This meant avoiding the Tarzan swing and take the alternative route.  Instead of being in a big group of people, it was just Becky and myself.  I thought this would be better as we didn't have to wait for other people to go over the course, but I was wrong.  People were the objects making me not think about the height.

Climbing up the first tree I realised I was getting slightly dizzy.  I thought nothing of it until I reached the platform.  I stood up straight and looked down (mistake I know!).  I instantly felt dizzy and panicked slightly.  This was not a good sign considering I wanted to avoid having another panic attack!

Even though I was planning on taking the alternative route to the Tarzan swing, I found a new place to... wait for it... have a panic attack!  Hanging in the air was a tunnel.  I remember not having any trouble with it the first time we went, but this time I panicked.  Crawling through I felt like I was going to slip through the gaps (even though the gaps were no where near big enough).  Becky encouraged me to crawl through the tunnel which I continued to do, but then... I was stuck!  How was a meant to get out of this tunnel?  I panicked even more and got hysterical.  Problem is, once it is all over and done with you realise how much of a bloody idiot you were!  I was embarrassed and throughout the rest of the course I was terrified of falling.

It is a great experience and I never thought I had a fear of heights considering I love roller coasters, but now i'm getting older i'm starting to think about things more (negative things).  I will overcome this and even though I have had a panic attack every time I have been to GoApe, I will go again and concur my fear!  Fear is only in the mind, I just need to try and push through it.

The next chapter... moving out!

I can't believe 6 months has gone so fast! Feels like only a week ago that it was the start of 2013, but it fears me to say that it wasn't. Where has the time gone? Seriously. It's true what they say... "As you get older, time goes quicker". I always found this hard to believe when I was younger and thought that people were just being silly, but gosh was I wrong!

A lot has happened in the last 6 months. Dan and I recently celebrated our year anniversary in May, which was amazing. He is incredible! My apprenticeship at Treasury Today is almost over and soon will be finding out whether I get a permanent job with the company or not. I really do hope I get kept on because I do enjoy what I do and love the people I work with. Couldn't imagine myself working anywhere else right now.

Now here's the big news... i'm moving out! FINALLY! I've wanted to move out for so long and become more independent and have more time, but I couldn't afford to move out on my own. This is where a big thank you to my work mate, Chris, comes into it. I've always thought about renting a flat with some other people, but i'd always be a bit funny about moving in with people I didn't know. Chris on the other hand is someone I work with and has offered me a room to rent, which is fantastic! I can't wait to finally move in and make myself a new home. It will be a new, nerve racking experience. Hopefully I won't get too homesick, but I know I will because I have to leave my gorgeous cats behind! My cats are a big part of my life, especially my cat Tigger as he spends every night and day in my room. He is like a friend, not just a pet and I am really going to miss him. Oh, and I will miss my family too of course.

Another thing i'm going to miss is when my best friend comes home from uni, I won't be down the road from her anymore. I'll only be a 10 minute train journey away, but it's the fact that we could just meet spontaneously. I have got used to her being away a lot of the time, but I still miss her when she is at uni. Can't wait to see her again!

A plus side to moving is i'm moving to the place I work and also where Dan lives. Work is only 2 minute walk away and Dan's house is about a 10 minute walk, so everything is quite close together. It will be nice for Dan and I to spontaneously meet up and go for walks. He is currently teaching me guitar, which I really enjoy and love having him teach me something.

There's a lot to be done and a lot to be changed. I can't wait to start the next chapter.

A good end to 2012

2012 may seem like it happened a while ago now as January just drags on and on, but it was only 3 weeks ago. The end of my 2012 was great. 

The night before Christmas my sister put out a mince pie for Santa (bearing in mind she is 21) haha. As soon as she put the mince pie down on the floor my cat, Peter, decided to creep up to it and give it a lick. I could stop laughing because he seemed to really like it and it was a cheeky move! So we decided to let him have it, but as soon as he was allowed it... he didn't want it! Typical cat! Later that night he was on a massive sugar rush running around the house making as much noise as possible.

Christmas day approached and woke up with my sister saying it was Christmas. Even though i'm 18 I still find it hard to sleep on Christmas night, but I don't know why. It must be because i'm excited about the delicious meal. We opened our presents at about 9:30 in the morning after my grandparents arrived which was really nice. I think I was most excited for Call of Duty Black Ops 2 and when I opened it I couldn't be happier! I was so excited to go on it. My best friend Kim got me a Coldplay Live calendar as we saw them last year for her birthday. It was AMAZING! She also got me some chocolates and lovely hand warmers. On the left is a photo of my gifts from my family and Kim. I got really good things and everything I asked for. I felt really spoilt! And as I expected the roast dinner that night was to die for! We had traditional turkey with all the trimmings and it was delicious!! Thinking of it now makes my mouth water. I also love pulling crackers just before dinner and I actually got a good gift for once! I got a little bracelet.

I spent boxing day with Dan which was great. We had a laugh and we opened each others presents. I got him quite a few presents which he said he loved them all, which is great. He got me some brilliant gifts! He got me a joke present which was a stress willy. It is hilarious and when you squeeze it too tight it goes red. I just couldn't stop laughing. He also got me 2 massive slabs of Hotel Chocolat chocolate. Banana chocolate and the other was cherry chocolate with popping candy. They were gorgeous. I loved them! He also got he a teddy of Ratchet from the game Ratchet and Clank. He is awesome, but he has a very big smile on his face with big eyes haha. Makes him look a bit crazy, but he is awesome! The last gift he got me was a heart shaped necklace. It is beautiful and I love it! I wear it everyday. To the left is all the gifts we got each other. I love all the gifts he got me and I love him so much! We had a very good day.

Dan and I also spent new years together which was good. We stayed in on the PS3 for most of the night playing Worms and having a few drinks. By 3 we were beat and went to bed. Unfortunately Dan felt really ill that night and was a very rough night. Although Dan went into 2013 being ill, I still had a good start to the new year and can't wait to spend this year with him. 

Just before Christmas Kim and I had a Monty Python night which was brilliant. She got out her box set of Monty Python and I bought the alcohol, chocolate and strawberries. We watched quite a few episodes of the Flying Circus and the Holy Grail which was hilarious. We had such a great night and we will have to do it again! It was sad to have to say bye to her for another few months, but I can't wait to see her again!

So I had a good end of 2012 and I hope you guys did too!

Don't forget to visit Kim's blog: http://kimmyboothy.blogspot.co.uk/

Photos will be up shortly.

Thanks for reading!

Christmas Time!

One more week at work until I have from the 22nd December to the 1st January off! And what happens between those days? CHRISTMAS! Okay I don't usually get excited for Christmas till Christmas eve, but this year I'm really looking forward to it. I suppose it's a time to spend with family with all the lovely decorations up, which makes it feel so cosy!

I love my house around Christmas time because of the decorations we have. Yes, some of them may be corny or very old, but they make my house feel very warm and cosy. Also I love coming in from the cold because it's usually nice and warm. Sinking into the warm sofa with a cup of hot chocolate and watching Coronation Street, sounds like a good thing to come home to after work.

I do love winter. But... During summer I miss winter and during winter I miss summer! I do prefer the cold and love the atmosphere around Christmas time, but winter goes on waaaaay too long!

I have almost finished my Christmas shopping and am excited to see certain people open their presents. Plus I am excited to see what Dan has got me haha. He was very mean before when we went Christmas shopping, I asked him whether he had any luck in finding me anything... His answer... "I don't know". I then asked him whether he had brought me anything that day... "I don't know". Haha he wasn't going to give anything away! He gave in the other day and told me that he actually did get me something :) Bless him teasing me! Can't wait to see him open his presents. Hehe!

Another thing that I can't wait for is the Christmas dinner. My parents make an amazing Christmas dinner and every year I look forward to it! My grandparents (my mum's parents) come over on Christmas day and we spend the day together. I really enjoy it when the family is together for Christmas day. I also usually see my best friend on Christmas day for a little bit to exchange presents! I can't wait to see Kim, she is coming home tomorrow! We have decided that over Christmas we are going to have a sleepover full of Monty Python films, strawberries and chocolate! Will be amazing! I'm looking forward to it!

Oh and i'm feeling a lot better now after my cold has gone and I am back at work! I have the work Christmas party on Tuesday which should be amazing! I cannot wait to wear my new dress and to just socialise with my work friends. Dan is of course invited as well which will be great! The last work party we had was a BBQ at the bosses house and for most of the day Dan, Rob (work mate) and I played badminton and table tennis which was so fun, but felt very achy the next day. Oh, because I am writing a blog now... I might as well say... Happy 21st Birthday to Rob on the 20th December! 

Monday (the day before the Christmas party) work has treated the women to a spray tan and a manicure. I am very excited for the manicure and I have grown my nails especially for it! The spray tan i'm a bit 50/50 because I have never had one before and don't want to come out ORANGE! It will be a new experience and hopefully *fingers crossed* I won't come out orange!

Right that is it for this week so hopefully you will all hear from me closer to Christmas day. If you don't hear from me before Christmas day then have a very Merry Christmas!

By the way, I now have a gallery so all the photos from this blog will be in there. PLUS: some photos I couldn't fit on this blog will be in the gallery!

Thanks for reading!

Thank god for the PS3!

This week must be one of the worst weeks I've had this year! Since Monday I have been suffering from what started off as a migraine to a raging cold. Monday morning I got up to go to work, as soon as I stepped out of bed I felt like someone was pushing me down by my head. It was pounding with pain and I just didn't have time to think. It started making me feel sick and I knew I couldn't manage going to work. I called in sick and went back to bed. This is when I realised that I also had pain all down my neck... my glands were swollen as well which was a bit strange for a migraine. Obviously I didn't have just a migraine... I also had a cold!

I hate being ill and hate just laying in bed all day. I was off work on Monday and Tuesday then attempted to go to work on Wednesday. That was a mistake as the day did not start off as well as I thought it was going to. I got to the train station and looked at the train times to find my train had been cancelled! Luckily I saw my work mate Josh and waited an hour in the freezing cold with him. Once the train finally arrived, I heard some school kids scream "OH MY GOD ITS SNOWING IN SANDWICH!!". I thought no way is it snowing, these kids are just too excited for Christmas. But I was wrong! I stepped off the train in Sandwich and all of sudden I noticed it was snowing like a blizzard! Once I had got to work I was freezing cold in soaking wet clothes with my legs frozen and numb. This clearly was not making me feel any better!

After I had settled down at my desk I started to do my coding and I realised that I really wasn't up for it. My line manager said it was okay if I wasn't feeling up to it and wanted to go. I waited till lunch and decided I was not well enough to work or even concentrate on code.

Since then I have been off and will most likely be off tomorrow as well considering that I feel like i'm just getting worse and getting more symptoms. Being ill really sucks, but something that sure does help is playing on your PS3 (Playstation 3 for noobs) haha. I'm so glad to have my PS3 whilst i'm ill because without it I would be soooooo bored! Thank God for the PS3!!! The only problem is my PS3 doesn't like to do updates, it doesn't like to connect to my internet well which is really annoying. For Christmas i'm asking for a few PS3 games (Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 is at the top of the list!) so I really hope the updates will work by then and not take 2 hours to do just 1 update! I can't wait to play COD2 with my partner online. It will be brilliant! Is it odd that I like shooting my boyfriend on the PS3? Haha.

Until then I hope I get better real soon and can be back at work at least by Monday :)

Thanks for reading x

Never give up!

Life can throw so much rubbish at you, even though you try so hard to prevent it. No matter how much it may throw at you, you should know never to give up.

Recently most of my friends went to University and left home, whereas I stayed at home doing my apprenticeship. I've found it really hard to adjust considering my best friend has moved away to Uni. We lived two doors away from each other so we were always there for each other and saw each other quite often, whereas I now will probably not get to see her for months. I will hopefully be seeing her over Christmas which will be awesome! Miss her so much! And the same for the rest of my friends. I miss them and hanging around with them.

Although I miss my friends a lot, I have the most amazing boyfriend who has helped me through so much! He has been amazing, supportive and so understanding whilst my friends have been away. I honestly have no idea where i would be without him! I love him loads! I am very lucky to have someone like him.

Another thing I have been finding hard is going from doing nothing all week when I was looking for a job to having a 5 day job. It was quite hard to adjust to this as I had so much free time to not much at all. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy to have my job as I am doing something I truly like. Just found it weird, but I am slowly getting used to it.

Things change in life, but we always adjust to the changes in time. We all need to remember not to give up on the important things in life and not to give up on someone you can't spend a day without thinking about. I know I won't :)

Thanks for reading!